Probably a not very original title for my first blog but hey you've got to start somewhere and I could spend all night trying to think of something witty and interesting!
My problem is that I think too much about things, I can't make a decision to save my life! (and I use exclamation marks much too often). Christmas shopping is a nightmare because they've got to really like what I buy them, whereas my husband can take less than 10 minutes to buy for all of his side of the family! I worry too much about what people think, I don't want to offend anyone by saying the wrong thing - I drive myself mad!
As I'm getting older I think I'm improving. I feel more confident in some situations, mainly because my priorities in life are clearer. Family comes first. Nothing else matters - Nothing!
Four years ago I had it all, a loving husband, 2 beautiful girls and a good, well paid job. Then in January 2007 our world was turned upside down when my eldest daughter Ruby, then 3, started limping. After a week of 3 visits to the GPs, 1 to see an orthopaedic consultant and finally a whole day in A and E, my darling girl was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour. That night we entered a different world. A world where you live one day at a time, a world where you have to block out the future because the thought of it without your child is too hard to bear.
Ruby battled on despite the odds being stacked against her and we managed to hold onto her for 2 more years. She died on Tuesday April 7th at 02.50am in my arms at Derian House Children's Hospice. A wonderful place that we continue to fundraise for in Ruby's memory.
If anyone wants to know more about Ruby I've written about her in more depth on a website for her at rememberruby.co.uk.
I came across BJDs a few months before Ruby was ill and I truly believe that they've helped keep me sane. (of course that's debatable!) They are my muses for the book I'm writing, although since I've been collecting them I haven't written as much. I spend more time sewing clothes for them and attempting to take photos of them - which I am so rubbish at!
Anyway that's a quick peek at my life. I've never blogged before so I don't know if I'm doing it right - if there is a right way!
Bye for now!
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